Ninja Cat, Level: Teleportation

I’ve decided dog-cat #2 (aka, Sebastian) has a super power.  Teleportation.  He’s also a ninja.  He’s pretty talented.

He’s a very sneaky thing to begin with.  With dog-cat #1, you can hear him coming down the hall.  He walks and runs very heavy-footed.  Sort of like an elephant.  With dog-cat #2, you can barely hear him coming down the hall, unless he has something he wants to show you (like my yarn balls) and then he makes the dying sea-lion noises.

The dog-cats like to sleep with me.  Sometimes they’ll sleep at the foot of the bed, on my side, or they’ll curl up on the couch in our bedroom.  Most nights, I don’t know if they are on the bed or the couch.  I never feel them.

Lately, dog-cat #2 has been especially ninja-like.  I get up to go to the bathroom several times a night (thanks Mini Mullan!) and every time I do, dog-cat #2 has to come running into the bathroom.  I’m not sure if he’s worried he might miss something… Does he think I need help?… In any case, he has to be in there with me.

Well last night, he comes in and it was all a blur.  I didn’t see him actually come into the bathroom.  I just noticed that he was below me, laying on the ground, pawing at my foot.  Heart.attack.  I start to head back to bed and as soon as I get into bed, he’s in my spot, pawing at my arm and purring.  What?!  How did you get back here so quickly?!

Teleportation.

There must be a portal from right in front of the toilet and another right next to my side of the bed.

Now clearly, these are very small portals…only big enough for a 17 pound cat.  That’s why I’ve never seen them.  This is the ONLY explanation.

I’m also convinced there is one in the cat room because as soon as I put food in his bowl, he’s there.  Poof.  I think he takes the one from my bedroom to his room.  Again, only explanation.

And, I’m pretty sure dog-cat #1 used it last night.  I remember seeing him sleeping on my bed right before I closed the bedroom door to lock him in there.  He’s sort of a loner and likes to be locked in rooms by himself.   Rooms, closets, same thing.  He’ll stay in there for hours and when he wants out, he throws his body against the door letting me know he’s ready.  So, last night, he had been in there for a few hours and I was just waiting for the giant {thuds} to start, when all of a sudden, he jumped up on the couch behind me.  What?!  Where did you come from?!  You were locked in the bedroom.  I swear.

I wonder how many portals there are around the house?  The dogs clearly have no idea these exist.  That would be dangerous.  Pugs popping up out of no where.  Reappearing in different rooms.  They are not sneaky, or smart, so I feel it is best they don’t know these portals exist.

Maybe that’s why the dog-cats are so chubby.  They don’t have to walk from one side of the house to the other.  They just teleport.

Like I said, this is the only explanation for this.  And no, it’s not pregnancy brain talking.  It’s definitely teleportation.

 

Enjoy your day,
{d&k}

 

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