Elvis and the slippery floors

This morning, I was sitting with k on the couch, while Dog-Cat #2 laid next to me.  Elvis (who is not allowed on the furniture) was standing with his paws on the couch, staring at me with his big, sad, pug eyes, trying to persuade me into letting him on the couch…When out of no where, Dog-Cat #2 attacked my hand.  Ok, ok, it may not have been out of no where.  I may (or may not) have been sitting on his tail.  However, in my defense, I 1) did not know I was on his tail and 2) he did not wiggle, squeal, or anything else when I sat on his tail.  Minutes later, he attacks.  I know he was waiting for the perfect opportunity to attack, holding all the pain in for that perfect pounce (with claws out, might I add).

So, monster Dog-Cat #2 attacks and I start squealing, Elvis goes into gotta-protect-my-momma mode and starts yipping at Dog-Cat #2.  Now, yipping is pretty much all Elvis can do.  I mean, he’s a pug-pomeranian/pugeranian/pomerug, there is no such thing as a “bark” for him.  It’s all yips.  He does have different levels of yips, that of course, all mean different things.  There’s the pay-attention-to-me-NOW! yip.  The Oskar-is-in-my-bed! yip.  The pet-me-NOW! yip, which sounds a lot like the pay-attention-to-me-NOW! yip.  The Uma-stole-my-toy! yip.  The INTRUDER! yip.  I could go on all day.  Well, this particular yip made Dog-Cat #2 a little uneasy and he started to get defensive.  And, I could not stop laughing because every time Elvis yipped, Dog-Cat #2’s fur fluffed up a little into his face.

And, if this wasn’t enough of a scene at 7am, Uma had to get in on it.  So she is now standing next to Elvis, barking (yes, she may be a girl, but girls got herself a bark!) and poor Dog-Cat #2 looks as if he may jump out of his fur if it will cause enough of a distraction to get away.  Dog-Cat #2 decides he’s got a chance and takes off, jumping over me, landing in between me and k, and then jumping over k and off the couch.  The chase is on!  Dog-Cat #2 runs down the hall like a hippopotamus, while Elvis and Uma chase off after him.  <CRASH!>  <BOOM!>  <POW!>  Chaos, folks.  Pure chaos.  Then coming back down the hall, it’s the Fuzzy Hippopotamus, followed by Elvis the Mini Mullan, and holding up the rear is Uma, the Deer on Ice (imagine this all said in k’s announcer voice.  Actually, now that I think about it, k may have been announcing this.  He was holding a microphone…hmmm…).  As soon as Dog-Cat #2 gets off the wood floor and onto the kitchen tile, he gains his traction and flies into the back bedroom and over the baby gate.  Safe at base.  Meanwhile, Elvis has lost his traction and is sliding all over the hardwood floors.  At one point, he wasn’t moving at all, just running running running in place.  It was almost in slow motion.  I think at one point during Elvis’ running in place, he looked over at me for help.  Give me a boost, mom.  He finally gets control of his tiny paws and runs through the kitchen and slams into the baby gate.  Stupid-baby-gate! yip.  Then there’s Uma, who is like a deer on ice and is tip-toeing through the living room, tail straight out like a rudder, making sure she doesn’t turn too quickly and lose balance.  By the time she gets to the kitchen, Elvis has already made is way back to me to console him after losing the chance to bite Dog-Cat #2’s tail.  Uma slowly walks back across the ice hardwood floor to her bed to lay down.  An entire day of sleeping is now needed to recover from that.

Dog-Cat #2 slowly saunters back out, jumps up on the couch and lays down next to me, as if he, minutes ago, didn’t almost lose his life. Or tail.  But I can imagine for a cat, losing a tail might be worse than losing one of their nine lives.  I’m pretty sure Dog-Cat #2 is treading very thinly on life #8.  God speed Dog-Cat #2.

So, how was your morning?

Enjoy your day,
{d&k}

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