I am going to be a horrible mom someday…

I’m awful. It’s true.  And I’m going to make an even awfuller (trust me, it’s a word) mom someday.

It never fails…I open the pantry to get out a snack (and not a Little Debbie) and a small, furry, and fiercely quick child runs in without me noticing.  Now, if it’s a cat that runs into the pantry, it could take me a few hours to realize it is missing. (I’m not that bad of a mom, cats are sneaky and mine hide almost all day, thankyouverymuch).  Today however, it was not a cat.  Instead it was a little, grumpy, old, slow-moving pug that somehow slipped right into the pantry without me noticing.  Now, give me a little credit here.  1, I have the attention span of a gnat and 2, I’m in a huge closet full of food.  Come on!?!  That’s like a mini heaven for me.  A closet that only holds food and is the perfect size for me to get into!  Eep.  Anyways, I was clearly distracted by all the lovely & colorful boxes and food choices that I didn’t see or hear Snorty sneak in.  So, I made my decision for dinner, walked out of the closet, and shut the door.  10 minutes later I decided to feed the zoo.  Now, if you’ve even been over during feeding time you know it’s chaotic.  Pugs and Umas are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, flailing legs and tails, cats are flying through the air…it’s sort of like the circus. Maybe I should charge admission to small children.  Who needs a full-time job when you have a circus in your kitchen?!  Hmmm…  But, I digress.  So, the animals are going crazy and I’m busy filling up their food dishes when I notice only 2 dogs.  I look around and see all 3 cats (sitting in a row, in descending height order, waiting for their food) and still only 2 dogs.  Oskar is missing!  I start to panic a bit because he is my grandpa dog and that dog can only move at a moderately fast pace when food is involved.  So I feed the other 2 pups and begin my search.  I’m yelling his name.  I’m yelling, “food!”  I’m running through the house, looking under beds, behind chairs.  Then panic sets in further and I start thinking that maybe he curled up in a corner and died.  How quickly my mind jumps there.  Weird.  Then I think that he shouldn’t be dead because he was just fine an hour ago.  Again, weird that that’s how my mind works.  So I’m still calling him and yelling, “food!” and nothing.  Not even a peep. I retrace my steps, looking under beds.  And nothing.  I go outside to make sure the gate wasn’t open…again, nothing.  I come inside just as k is pulling in the driveway and I’m almost in tears, getting ready to run out to him and tell him that Oskar is dead and I can’t find him (because in my mind a lost or hiding dog is obviously dead) and then I hear a little squeal.  I stop and look around.  No sign of him.  I can’t hear it again because the other 2 dogs are still flailing and yipping from their after dinner buzz, hoping that the main course is on its way and that what I just served them was only their measly little appetizer.  I shush the pups and call Oskar’s name.  I hear the tiny squeal again.  I walk into the kitchen, looking around, and then it hits me.  The.Pantry.  Dun, dun, dun.  I open the door and out flies Oskar, squealing and running straight for his food dish, never missing a beat.  Just then, k walks in and I burst out laughing.  I’m in the middle of telling him what happened and he interrupts me with, “you locked him in the pantry, didn’t you?”  Um, excuse me. I was in the middle of a story.  I was just getting to the climatic point and you ruined it. Rude.  But, he was right. I did lock him in the pantry.  Yep, that’s what I do.  I lock my furry children in the pantry.

So, after many hours of hysterically laughing over this tonight, {d&k} decided we are going to be horrible parents because our children will inevitably be locked in the pantry at some point in their lives.  Oh who am I kidding.  Once a day.  If they are lucky, they’ll be locked in there with an animal to keep them company.  Maybe I should move some food down to the lower shelf in case they get hungry.  Wow, there is a lot of planning to do before we have kids.  I have to reorganize an entire pantry to be suitable for little people.  I must add that to my to do list.

And, in case any of you were wondering – k trimmed his sideburns today.  He will not be talking to them for at least a day or two.

Thanks for stopping by!  Enjoy your day!
{d&k}

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